Thursday, December 29, 2011

Knitting for myself continues

Cowl is done and I like it very much.  The colors go well with almost anything I own.  I do wish it had more "stand up" to it as it crumples down and my neck is still exposed.  But I think it looks cool and I'm still warmed by it.

Starting on a pair of Shibui socks now!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Knitting in Bed

Some people like breakfast in bed.  I like it at a table, but I love knitting in bed.  Here's my view this morning.  I'm making headway on my cowl.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

The Healing Touch

Yesterday, some might say I had an awakening.

Deep within me there resides a little tightly wrapped box.  I certainly can't burden anyone around me with it, so there it stays.  This box contains hurt, fear, pain, guilt, resentment, hate, and defeat. I couldn't function daily if this box were to just pop open at any given time.  It is physically locked within me.  The problem is, this box is a poison and it is killing me.  I've seen a psychiatrist, I've been on anti-depressants, I've been surrounded by loving sisters and friends, I've tried soul searching, exercising, journal writing, crafts and indulging my sweet tooth.  But I haven't felt sure of a way to save myself from it.  I'm not even sure I wanted to.

Yesterday, I was literally pulled, pushed, stretched, and squeezed until a corner of that box was torn open and a little stream of hurt began to flow out of my body in tears running down my cheeks.  I felt it coming to the surface, surging up inside me. There really was physical barrier locking it in.  And releasing the tension in my muscles and joints gave me the means to begin to excavate that box.

Yesterday, I met a woman named Peggy for a Thai Yoga Massage.  Today, I think the way to heal myself is through gently releasing this box of tension and attempting to heal others in the same way.  I want to learn to be a Thai Yoga Massage practitioner.